What are your Core Patterns & Beliefs?
What are your core patterns and beliefs in life? What are the ways of being that stop you from truly living your life to its fullest? And what are your gifts that help you to shine?
Most of us live our lives through our unconscious patterns. It is said that 95% of our thoughts are the same as we thought the day before. Therefore from one day to the next if we are not aware we will keep running the same patterns as we have from the day before, from the week before and so on.
And yet it doesn’t have to be this way. It doesn’t have to be fate that we keep running the same old patterns. It is possible to change. It does take work and support and yet change is not as difficult as we would have ourselves believe.
The truth is that for most of us we have no idea what our core patterns are – both negative and positive. Often times when something is pointed out to us in the positive we push it away – I was certainly like that (or we immediately return the compliment rather than receiving it). Or if something negative is pointed out we retreat, we get angry, or we blame the other person.
And yet when you find out your core patterns – you then can bring mindfulness, awareness and presence to this pattern. Say, for example, you get stressed driving. Instead of reacting you can start to work on this – do some breathing techniques before you set off/ find out what is beneath the stress about driving so that it no longer becomes a problem.
Although it is not always pleasant to hear, I much prefer that someone points out where I am stuck so that I can bring mindfulness, awareness and the reflection – I need to do work here. And as I said above 95% of our thoughts are the same as the day before so it would make sense that if we are not careful then we can potentially start to run our old patterns without noticing it.
Once you find out what your core patterns you then have some gold. Really, you have found your gold. Working with this gold will help you to grow as a person. For the positive patterns – you can reflect on them and constantly remind yourself of your good qualities. And for your negative patterns you can bring more consciousness to them so they stop running you and you start to run them.
I recently heard a quote from a Tibetan monk who said something along the lines of how he preferred to receive criticism than praise. He said that the wise teachers saw criticism as gold dust because here was an opportunity to see something that they weren’t aware of, that they couldn’t see in themselves. Here was an opportunity to grow.
So how do you find out what your core patterns are?
3 WAYS TO FIND YOUR CORE PATTERNS
1. Ask A Friend
Okay, so this is not Who Wants To Be a Millionaire, but on the other hand you are searching for your gold.
So the first way of finding out what your core patterns are is by asking a close friend or your partner.
I would suggest that you ask them what 2-3 of your core patterns are (both positive and negative). And then write them down.
It is important that you don’t take it personally. If you get offended then know that they are offering you gold – it might not feel like that to you, so give space to the feeling and know that you are on the cusp of great change and growth. It is also important that you are in a centred and balanced space when you ask this question and know that you have support in the form of a coach or a therapist or a men’s or women’s group.
It is not recommended that you ask your family. We often pick up patterns and habits from our family. Therefore the chances are that they will not see clearly what patterns you are running because they might well have the same ones as you…
2. Look At Your Life
The second way of working out your core patterns is to be honest and truthful about your life. What is your life like in the core areas – physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, spiritually and relationally? You might think that this is obvious and yet most of us will deny we have an issue even though everyone else can see it.
Again know that everyone has patterns and we will always be working on patterns and beliefs until we reach enlightenment. Therefore be gentle with yourself. Come at it from the perspective of the Buddhist monk above – see it as gold dust.
And look at both sides – positive and negative. Look at all areas – are you excelling in certain places – well celebrate that. And if you are not doing so well in other areas, celebrate that too – here is an opportunity to grow.
3. Watch What Arises In The Difficult Times
When life is good and everything is flowing smoothly it can feel that we never have problems and that we are sorted.
But when things turn south and life is not flowing so smoothly how do you react? What behaviours come to the surface? Do you snap at people, do you get worried about money, do you start to binge eat or your addictions surface?
Again do some reflection – what do I still struggle with when the shit hits the fan so to speak? When I’ve not slept, the children are sick or work is not going well how do I respond?
Robert Moore, who is the author of King, Magician, Warrior, Lover, spoke in one of his talks about our inner life being like the Grail cup. He said that as we grow up we are sculpting this cup. And we need benevolent men and women to help us with this. And yet most of us don’t have this so cracks are formed in this cup.
Robert goes on to say that when we are tired, sick and life is not going well, this is when the cracks start to show up in our lives. If you want to find out your shadow, that which is hidden, then he says you will find this when your life is not going your way.
Your work now is to remember how do you respond? What behaviors do you present? These again are your gold. When you work through them now, you start to mend these cracks so that the next time you are struggling the cracks no longer appear.
HOW TO HEAL THE CRACKS?
Briefly, there are many ways to mend and heal the cracks on your Grail cup. It is a process and can take time.
The ways that I have healed some of my cracks and am still working on these core patterns is through Jungian analysis, therapy, healing, EFT, Matrix Reimprinting, mindfulness and Buddhist practice.
I have always found it much easier to change with the help of someone else. Please reach out
if you would like support to change.
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