In this edition of the An Evolving Man Podcast I interview Alex Renton who is the author of the book Stiff Upper Lip and the producer of the ITV documentary Secret Shame about child abuse at boarding school.

Alex is a writer and journalist whose career has ranged from arts and food writing to politics and the investigation of child abuse. His career as a war reporter and development worker took him to the Middle East, Africa, East Asia and the Balkans. He has worked for The Independent, The Times, Newsweek, and the London Evening Standard and contributed to a host of other newspapers and magazines. He is also the author of the e-book Planet Carnivore: how cheap meat costs the earth (Guardian Shorts, 2015).

Alex has won many awards for his work in investigative journalism, conflict and development reporting and for food writing, including the One World Award and the Glenfiddich Trophy.

Born in Canada, educated in English boarding schools and at Exeter University, Alex now lives in Edinburgh with his wife, son and daughter.

Please note that if you went to boarding school that you might find this interview triggering.

Here are some of the questions that I asked him:

1. I would love for you to share your own boarding school journey and how things changed for you in 2013 with the article you read about child abuse at the boarding school you attended?

2. What are some of the insights that you have had from publicly sharing your journey? Have people in the main been critical or supportive of you?

3. I would love to hear what you have found out re boarding school and complex trauma. I am hearing people talk about PTSD and boarding school syndrome. What is your sense of this analysis?

4. What do you see are some of the main issues that we as ex-boarders present? e.g. relationship problems, emotionally shut down etc.

5. My work is in helping people to heal from boarding school wounds. I would love to hear what you have found has helped others in the stories that you have heard? What has worked for you?

6. I love in your book how you talk about initiation (P.41). I would love to speak a little about how boarding school could be seen as an initiation – although not a healthy one. What could we do instead to help initiate boys and girls?

7. What is your vision for the future re boarding schools. Can we change the system? If so how do you feel we can change the system? Can we stop early boarding? What is the future of BS?

8. What are you doing next? How do people get in touch with you or get your book?

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Alex also shared about the IICSA and said the following: “I think if we are going to get results out of it for children in residential care, in terms of solid safeguarding protocols and hard law to protect them and the whistleblowers, it will be largely because of Tom Perry's tireless work with https://www.mandatenow.org.uk.”

In order to buy Alex's book (he has offered to sign copies for people if you contact him here) please go to https://stiffupperlipbook.com/contact/ and to buy it https://stiffupperlipbook.com/buy/

For the ITV documentary the Secret Shame that Alex helped to produce please visit:

https://youtu.be/uhWOM3iqF7c

#boardingschoolsyndrome #thesecretshame #alexrenton

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I really enjoyed this interview and had some great insights while listening to Alex speak. Often as ex-boarders we don't have specific physical or sexual abuse. And yet what Alex shared is that in his experience having spent years researching it, it is actually the psychological damage which is the greatest cause of suffering. Many of us as ex-boarder know how that feels.

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An Evolving Man (AEM) Podcast is for men who want to grow, evolve and want support in learning how to do this.

Every few weeks there will be an interview around men's topics ranging from self-development, relationships, spirituality, archetypes, and men's work featuring authors and leaders in this field.

The sense with these interviews is to support men during these times of change. What are the teachings, tools and practices that you can use to help you through these turbulent times?